…unless your dream is stupid.”
I think that’s how it goes, right?
As I sat beneath the brown marble sealing, the ambient light disappearing within the hallow walls, I awaited patiently the still small voice of inspiration. It never came…
1. I cheated on the AIMS test in 6th grade.
2. One night, I took off my pants and climbed a tree in my underwear.
3. I own a mannequin head. Just the head.
4. I own a pair of socks that say “I’m too sexy for my socks.”
4 1/2. I wear them often.
5. Some nights I just cry for those that are lost in the world.
6. I’m a sucker for a good chick flick.
7. I hate strawberries.
8. I stole a piece of bazooka bubble gum when I was 11 years old.
9. I’ve broken and ripped more paintings of my own than I can count.
10. I don’t miss my father one bit.
5. Why do we smile when we cry?
Shall I consume thee crispy Chik-fil-a?
Thou art most wondrous and delectable:
Ill I speak that thou art closed on Sunday,
Whilst I pray need be you accessible:
Sometime too hot thy grilled breasts leave me awed,
And oft’ is that in which my hunger yearns;
For thy tender thighs be a gift from God,
Every nugget of gold from heaven burns:
Thy ample sauces never go to waste
Nor the beauty of thy sweet nectar fade;
Forever lingers thy welcoming taste,
A pleasant weakness never would I trade.
So long as men can eat, and meat can fry,
So long lives thee, thy legend shalt not die.
3. When you sneeze, does your nose ring come out too?
4. Why are girls so grossed out when other girls leave their pee in toilet? Isn’t that where it goes?
2. Why is it that my bladder makes the decision to be so full that I can’t stand still or quietly, only when I am at the front door of my house fiddling with my purse and looking for my house key?
15. Eating a taco while driving
14. Seeing the same movie in theaters 4 times within the first week it comes out